The Maximizing Blog

There is a growing division in our nation that must be addressed. Race relations appear to be challenged across America through a variety of recent cases that have captivated the nation. Additionally, while the crime rate has remained steady for the most part or...

“Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”  -- Thomas Edison Another year a new beginning has come and gone and this is the time of year where we generally reflect on what has happened in the past and...

Patience means the state, quality, or fact of being patient, the will or ability to wait or endure without complaint or murmuring—steadiness. The root meaning of patience is “suffering.” The question then is, how long shall we suffer? In the New Testament, there are...

Anger is a secondary emotion and normally comes from a situation that precedes the emotion. Norm H. Wright, famed relationship author, says anger is derived from hurt, fear, or frustration and may even be learned from watching others do the same. I have met with...

There are certainly many views on this subject. Most likely the pros and cons will fall along generational lines for the most part. While we want sexuality to be vibrant in the relationship, we must beware of pornography and sexual abuse entering the relationship....

What is the difference between Sensuality and Sexuality? How does one express sexuality and sensuality? Can men be sensual or is it limited to women only? These are key discussions for our relationships. Sensuality deals with creating a romantically charged...

Notice the list in 1 Corinthians 13:1–7 (NIV): “Love is patient, love is kind, does not envy, does not boast, not proud, not rude, not self-seeking, not easily angered, keeps no record of wrongs, does not delight in evil, rejoices with the truth, always protects,...

If God is leading you down a path, follow through, don't procrastinate. It may be difficult, you may grow weary, you may even feel like giving up but press on anyway. Don't just test the waters by placing your feet only ankle deep but submerge yourself go into the...

Being single can often be seen in a negative light in a society where there is a constant emphasis on being in a relationship.  Singles are often left wondering, "What's wrong with me?" However, being single can be a joy to those who understand there is a season for...

I see many self-help topics and articles on relationships that emphasize independence as being critical to a happy self, especially in the relationship. Some even go as far as to say compromising is a weakness in the relationship. By the way, those who are making...

Have you ever been at the breaking point of cutting off immediate family members because all they seem to do is drain you of energy rather than energize you? I think if we are honest with ourselves, we have all been there at one time or another. I have been asked...

Our society is one that is ever changing with regard to what is acceptable and what is not in marriages and relationships. When I grew up in the 1970s, I remember watching the "I Love Lucy" show and seeing two beds in the bedroom for Lucy and Ricky, the married couple...

Many wonder how long should they date before getting married? It is actually a very good question. After talking to thousands of couples over the last 17 years in the counseling room, I can assure you there is no magical number to answer that question. I have read...

I have found that one of the strongest components of maximizing our relationships is having hope. Hope equals expectation for something good. What do you expect in your relationships? Are you filled with hope or hopelessness? Too often, we don't expect the best out of...

Do Something Amazing When I was on deployment to Baghdad, Iraq a few years ago, I recall how the Uganda guards at the dining facility entrance would often stop me and they would say, “Chaplain, Do Something Amazing!” They knew it was my goal to serve the people. It...

Oxygen365 Interview Please watch as Dr. Neyland shares insights and principles on Unconditional Love and how it effects each of our relationships during an interview with Oxygen365, a  new website that is part of the Stronger Families network. Stronger Families has...

As promised, this is the final blog on the five pillars of intimacy. These pillars are what sustain us in our marriages. The goal is to exercise each pillar of intimacy simultaneously. We have looked at the importance of physical, emotional, social, and intellectual...

Intellectual Intimacy is the fourth pillar we will discuss in this series on intimacy. It is easily the most underrated of the five pillars we will be discussing. In fact, most are probably wondering what I am referring to when referencing intellectual intimacy....

In our third deep dive into the pillars of intimacy, we want to look at what I believe is the most subjective pillar. Emotional intimacy is the glue that holds a relationship together. Remember how you felt when you first entered the relationship and no one could tell...

As we discussed last week, the five pillars of intimacy are very important to ensure a strong foundation in your marriage or relationship.  During the last blog, we covered social intimacy and that seemed to cause a stir on social media with many shares and views. ...

For the next several blogs, I will be exploring the five pillars of intimacy in greater detail: Social, Physical, Emotional, Intellectual, and Spiritual.  Think of the pillars as the foundation of your marriage or relationship.  Without the foundations, the marriage...

1. Build Your Relationship on HONESTY AND TRUST. Without Honesty your relationship will eventually FAIL! Stop lying to yourself! 2. Make sure you add FORGIVENESS to the mix. You will always make mistakes and need forgiveness--it is natural--admit it and move on. 3....

Poor financial management by one or both spouses will almost always destroy trust in the relationship. This area continually remains on the top of most surveys as a primary reason for divorce. Finances that are mishandled can have lasting effects on all parties...

The most important thing we can do in our relationships is to demonstrate our love one for the other despite how we feel. In my many years of experience of almost 31 years of marriage, I have always been challenged with showing love, yes, even when I don’t feel like...

Many marriages end every day because one or both partners gave up on each other—perhaps too quickly. “Unconditional Love Fatigue” sets in.  In many ways, it is a natural occurrence. They discovered that after the Romance or Honeymoon stage was over, that they didn’t...

Perhaps more than any other subject, I am asked how to deal with staying faithful in the relationship and what happens if one or both couples become unfaithful. There are clear signs that could cause a couple to drift apart as we have discussed in past blogs. The...